It’s coming up to my birthday in a couple of weeks, which has me reflecting on what I hope for my year ahead. Being in my early-mid thirties has been great to me so far. I’ve realized that despite the fact that I have more wrinkles and grey hair than I had in my twenties, I’ve somehow never felt more attractive. I think for me that comes from a place of feeling confident and capable, and having a better understanding of what my values and boundaries are.
I got to asking myself, so why do so many attractive young people think that they are not? I wonder if it could perhaps be related to the notion of needing to be ‘the most’? As in: ‘the most beautiful’, ‘the smartest’, ‘the strongest’, or whatever it is that we are striving to be.
I got to thinking that perhaps ‘The Most…’ – especially as it relates to very subjective measures such as beauty – is a construct of fixed mindset, or scarcity thinking. Is it objectively true that there can only be one or a few people who are truly beautiful / smart / funny? And that the rest of are doomed to… doomed to what? It just doesn’t really seem all that interesting.
Over the last number of years I’ve come to believe quite the opposite – I believe in a growth mindset, or one of abundance. I believe that we can all be beautiful, and that beauty is very unique. I’ve seen so much beauty in people, and continue to see new beauty every day. And that makes me feel so lucky.
One thought on “‘The Most…’ is mostly artificial”
Great post Vanessa! I totally agree with you.
It’s a shame that people – especially youth and young adults – tend to always compare themselves and want to be “as beautiful as”, “as good as”, “as…as” others around them. It puts an immense stress on a lot of them and even causes high anxiety for some and low self-esteem in many.
We all have to find our place in society and be as good as we could be, and I think the real beauty in people lies on their capability to accept themselves for who they really are and embrace their differences, strenghts and skills. The difference is what makes us interesting… Imagine if we would all look the same, know the same things, have the same strenghts/skills… Wouldn’t it be a boring world??! 😉